The first thing I want to talk about is not unusual; it's just cool. A friend let me borrow a set of 8 CD's, The History of Atlantic Studios R and B. It starts back in the late 40's and comes up to the present time. I've been listening to this, and I can't help saying to myself, "Why have I missed this all my life?" I love it, and I've just barely begun listening to it.
The second thing is unusual. I had a "communication" with meemaw this morning. It happened like this. On my way to school this morning, I loaded up the passenger side with two heavy bags. Occasionally the added weight in the passenger seat will cause the seat belt alarm to go off. I have explained though that at least three times after my mom died, it went off without having a good reason. Then, some of my songs played which convinced me that my mom was communicating with me. I know -- sounds weird. With the weight in the seats today, I didn't think much of it, but I patted the seat and thought, "How are you doing meemaw?" I was listening to Belinda Carlisle, whom I never really listen to and the next song up was her version of the Cream classic, "I Feel Free." This made my stomach do a little lurch. Then I said (Paraphrased), "Tell me. Is there really something out there after we die." I don't know the title of the next song but the chorus said there was more magic than you could ever imagine and that there was also an angel looking out after you. That really freaked me out. I told her thanks and pressed on. "Could you ask the big guy for some guidance on what I should be doing with my life?" Three or four meaningless songs played, so I figured meemaw had gone on back home. As I pulled into the school drive another song came on. The chorus was something to this effect, "Live your life; be free. Open your eyes so you can see." It occurred to me that one of Belinda Carlisle's greatest hits was "Heaven is a Place on Earth." I firmly, undoubtingly (even if that isn't really a word) believe that this morning a little bit of heaven -- my mom -- came down to earth and rode with me to school.
I want to preface this next paragraph with a thank you to my best and oldest friend Tim for setting me straight. Tim and I have known each other since Kindergarten. Although we live in separate parts of the state and disagree about some things, I know that if my back ever needed to be covered he would cover it -- and, Tim, I want you to know that you could expect the same from me. Now, in my speech class we have been talking about friendship, especially the stages of friendship. When we got into the "best friend" stage, one of the things I stressed in class is that best friends do not hesitate to tell each other if they need to straighten out. Last night, I wrote a whining, depressing blog. Tim sent me a note and told me in no uncertain terms that I sounded whining and morose and that he would rather see the happier me. He was right -- absolutely. In his note he went on to tell me how blessed I truly was and that I ought to be thanking God for my blessings. I needed to hear that.
Today, I got another message that a couple of my students complained about me. I won't mention everything they said, but a couple of things actually hurt my feelings. They felt as if I was not compassionate and that I was intimidating. Do I come off that way? Seriously? If I do, I need to do some reexamination. I don't want to be that way. I have upon occasion said that I don't feel sorry for someone who waits until the last minute to get their work done and then complain when the work is unacceptable. I guess if that's intimidating and not compassionate, I have to plead guilty. Mind you, I'm not complaining here or getting angry. I'm just wondering. Do people really see me this way? I know I'm pretty quiet. Maybe that's it. Or maybe they were upset with a grade. I don't know. I also have high expectations. Personally, I think there is definitely grade inflation in education today. To me, a C means you've done average work, not great but not horrible. A B is a good grade, not a failure. An A requires outstanding work. I can remember having Mrs. Allers in high school, and when I got a B+ in her class, I felt like a genius.
Well, maybe all that's not as unusual as what I think it is, but it has been a different kind of few days. I guess I am going to sign off for now. I'm going to try being happier blogger.
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