One or two more warm days before another blast of winter

The last few days have been very nice in this part of Missouri.  The temperatures have been in the high 50's and I think even up into the low 60's, but apparently they are not going to last past the weekend.  I cannot get used to this being plunged into arctic cold one day and then spring-like temperatures the next.  It's a wonder I don't have pneumonia.  I want to live in a temperate zone.  When I start selling one novel and young screenplay a year, then perhaps I'll be able to do that.  I know those are probably unreasonable goals, but I have to start somewhere.  Shoot for the stars and be happy with the moon.  Isn't there a saying like that somewhere?

I have been writing tonight and doing some music searches on my computer.  You Tube has dozens upon dozens of mid-sized music selections that are mellow and help me to focus on what I am doing. They even have several selections they claim will help improve the writing process.  While I have no doubt that writing aids in my creative process, I do know that it is not a miracle muse producing award winning literature out of the air.  I just need something to keep out distractions, and slow, mellow instrumental music does that for me.  Some people like classical or jazz, and while I like both, I don't particularly like them for writing.  Dr. Jeffrey Thompson has some music for creativity.  I bought two of his CD's a while ago.  Even my high school students like to listen to it when they are writing on their journals.

I haven't been watching the Olympics with any degree of consistency, but when I do watch them, I enjoy them. I guess I would just rather do something else with my time.  I think I have adult ADD along with a host of other mental problems so I have difficulty concentrating on a project anyway, but the right kind of music can help me to do so. I don't know if I should even bother seeking out any treatment for the condition or if there are any old-fashioned home remedy cures out there to help concentration.

I have been watching a little bit of the ice skating.  It seems like there are a bunch of skaters wiping out tonight. Looks like a traffic jam out there on the ice.  The US leads in medals right now, but it was a little disappointing that we did not take gold in men's hockey.  Several St. Louis Blues players are in the Olympics.  We also did not take any medals in the women's figure skating.  But we own some of the extreme skiing events.  I am proud to live in America even though I am not always proud of some of the things we do.

I might post some passages of my WIP on here if anyone would care to read it.  It's a little different.  If you are familiar with Ellen Hopkins, I can tell you that I am an admirer of her style, and I've found an amazing amount of freedom and inspiration in my writing by incorporating some elements of free verse and concrete poetry into the fiction.  The one big difference is that I don't have all of my pages that way.  My character has a mental illness, and it's mainly when he is experiencing troubles that I use the free verse style.  When he is having relatively normal moments, I use standard prose.

One thing that I am very grateful for is that I finally got Microsoft word on my Macbook.  I didn't hate Pages, and in fact, there were many parts of it I liked and I will continue to use, but I am used to what I am used to.  Now, if I can find a clever picture, I will put it in as my heading.  Until the next time.  So long.

Part of the Arcadia Valley.  ABC has a new show coming out in a couple weeks called Resurrection

which is set in Arcadia, my home town.  It's a shame they didn't film some of it here.

Blog because I still don't have my wits to do anything useful

I can't remember the last time I did this, wrote in my blog twice in one day.  I just happened to notice that I was approaching 16,000 views.  That surpasses my expectations for this blog.  I didn't think anyone would look at it when I first started it.

I am hoping that somewhere out of the blue with all of my social experiments online that I find a producer/publisher for my writing.  I am especially interested in selling screenplays.  I have been told by many people that I am a good writer.  Not just my family.  People in the business.

I am working on three or four projects at the moment.  I just finished the first draft of a screenplay.  It is an excellent supernatural, low-budget thriller.  I am in the midst of a great YA book I am writing.  Yes, I used the term great. I think it is.  I am getting ready to start the next draft of a romantic comedy which has been given some good coverage in the past.  I have let it set for a year or so and now I have a clear idea of where I want to go with it.

I am a writer, but I am getting older.  For the last couple of years, I have had the horrifying feeling that my writing days are numbered if I don't score some big sales.  I don't want to be one of these old guys who goes to writer's conferences and talks interminably about his latest project that no one is going to read anyway.

When I was young, I was annoyed by these people, but now, though I am still not old, I am definitely not young.  Is there a time when you just say, "I'm too old for this crap." ?  I don't want to delude myself nor do I want to give up.

Sorry, just thinking aloud.

Anyway, if you were one of the close to 16,000 people who looked at my blog.  Thank you.

Blogging because I don't have the wits to do anything else.

I don't know if I have even written a blog on my macbook yet.  It's been that long since I wrote one.  I need to keep things current or no one will read it.

I don't know that I have anything worthwhile to write at the moment but I do have a couple of questions for anyone out there who might be able to answer them.  In the last week or so, I have added something like 15 to 20 Twitter followers, most of whom I do not know.  I added them because they started following me, and I always believe that following those who follow you is just the polite thing to do, though I am not always sure of computer etiquette.

I don't know how these people got ahold of my twitter account because I only have like 300 followers, or at least that's all I had before this recent influx of people.  How do people get your twitter address if you don't have that many followers?  It's a little creepy, I think.  I also don't get Klout and Klout score.  I mean, what's the purpose for this?  Is all of this just a big game to see what kind of person you are or something?  My Klout has nothing to do with who I am, nor does an enormous increase in followers make me something special.  I mean it's flattering in some ways, but a little weird in others.  I know all of the people who are following me are not actually reading my tweets.  Some of them have hundreds of thousands of followers.  It's all like a petty little game that some could would play so he or she could say,  "Na, Na, Na, I have more friends than you do."

End of rant.

By the way, I have no clue as to why this is all being centered, but it looks kind of cool.

There we go.  Now I have the alignment back.  I think the centering had something to do with the insertion of my picture and my rather pensive pose.

I know all of you go through difficult periods in life.  As a person who suffers from a form of bipolar disorder I have my shares of ups and downs, but I believe I'm more of what they call cyclothymic which is a milder form of bipolar disorder which includes rapid cycling.  It is not as severe as bipolar I and Bipolar II and it is generally treated the same way.  The main difference with what I have is that I cycle up and down quickly, without warning, and sometimes without reason. I woke up depressed this morning.  I woke up questioning everything I am and everything I believe.  Nothing caused this; it just happened.  This time of year is horrible for me anyway, so I imagine I have some SADD also.  Today is gray, kind of cold; I'm home by myself because my wife had to work and all I have done is mope and eat. I have so many things I should be doing, but I can't force myself to do them.  I so desperately need for spring to arrive with its warm days and sunshine and new life breaking forth. I am tired of snow and cold and gray.

There's a line in Freedom Writer's Diary which I remember.  Most people who watch that movie don't sympathize much with the husband who leaves Mrs. G.  (Hillary Swank, by the way, is one of the hottest women in Hollywood.)   At one point he makes a comment that, on the days when I feel really depressed I can relate to.  He says, "I feel like I am living a life I didn't agree to."  Now, I don't always feel that way, but sometimes I do.

What life would be agreeable?  I can't answer that.  I can tell you I have always wanted to write and I have always written even though I have not achieved as I want to.  As I age, I realize that with each passing year the odds of my achieving what I hoped to achieve are slimmer. But the thing with writing is, no matter what successes you have, you are never completely happy.  It's like the guinea pig in the spinning ball.  It can move very fast with a lot of effort, but how far does it ever really get.

I can't decide to leave you with a picture of Hillary Swank or a guinea pig.

Good day, all.