I don't know if I have even written a blog on my macbook yet. It's been that long since I wrote one. I need to keep things current or no one will read it.
I don't know that I have anything worthwhile to write at the moment but I do have a couple of questions for anyone out there who might be able to answer them. In the last week or so, I have added something like 15 to 20 Twitter followers, most of whom I do not know. I added them because they started following me, and I always believe that following those who follow you is just the polite thing to do, though I am not always sure of computer etiquette.
I don't know how these people got ahold of my twitter account because I only have like 300 followers, or at least that's all I had before this recent influx of people. How do people get your twitter address if you don't have that many followers? It's a little creepy, I think. I also don't get Klout and Klout score. I mean, what's the purpose for this? Is all of this just a big game to see what kind of person you are or something? My Klout has nothing to do with who I am, nor does an enormous increase in followers make me something special. I mean it's flattering in some ways, but a little weird in others. I know all of the people who are following me are not actually reading my tweets. Some of them have hundreds of thousands of followers. It's all like a petty little game that some could would play so he or she could say, "Na, Na, Na, I have more friends than you do."
End of rant.
By the way, I have no clue as to why this is all being centered, but it looks kind of cool.
There we go. Now I have the alignment back. I think the centering had something to do with the insertion of my picture and my rather pensive pose.
I know all of you go through difficult periods in life. As a person who suffers from a form of bipolar disorder I have my shares of ups and downs, but I believe I'm more of what they call cyclothymic which is a milder form of bipolar disorder which includes rapid cycling. It is not as severe as bipolar I and Bipolar II and it is generally treated the same way. The main difference with what I have is that I cycle up and down quickly, without warning, and sometimes without reason. I woke up depressed this morning. I woke up questioning everything I am and everything I believe. Nothing caused this; it just happened. This time of year is horrible for me anyway, so I imagine I have some SADD also. Today is gray, kind of cold; I'm home by myself because my wife had to work and all I have done is mope and eat. I have so many things I should be doing, but I can't force myself to do them. I so desperately need for spring to arrive with its warm days and sunshine and new life breaking forth. I am tired of snow and cold and gray.
There's a line in Freedom Writer's Diary which I remember. Most people who watch that movie don't sympathize much with the husband who leaves Mrs. G. (Hillary Swank, by the way, is one of the hottest women in Hollywood.) At one point he makes a comment that, on the days when I feel really depressed I can relate to. He says, "I feel like I am living a life I didn't agree to." Now, I don't always feel that way, but sometimes I do.
What life would be agreeable? I can't answer that. I can tell you I have always wanted to write and I have always written even though I have not achieved as I want to. As I age, I realize that with each passing year the odds of my achieving what I hoped to achieve are slimmer. But the thing with writing is, no matter what successes you have, you are never completely happy. It's like the guinea pig in the spinning ball. It can move very fast with a lot of effort, but how far does it ever really get.
I can't decide to leave you with a picture of Hillary Swank or a guinea pig.
Good day, all.
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