The Times They Are a 'changing

I am not sure when these two photos of me were taken. I'm guessing the one on the right was when I was at Mineral Area College. The one on the left when I was in high school maybe. Time has flown by in my life until this July I will be 58 years old. I know that isn't really old, but it is old enough for someone to drop dead unexpectedly or to develop serious health problems. I have luckily avoided serious health issues to date, which doesn't mean I am in good physical condition.  If I stay on my current course, I will begin to break down. But that's not why I am writing here.

I want to talk about the inevitability of change. I have tried to avoid much change in my life because it unsettles me -- a lot. I want the assurance that life will be relatively the same tomorrow as it was today, but unfortunately, I've learned that it doesn't work that way most of the time. I think I really learned that when my mom died, suddenly and unexpectedly. She was alive one night and then dead a few hours later. I think I've realized it even more as I've watched other people grow old. I've never thought of myself as being old, but I'm getting that way. I'm beyond middle age now. So I am seeing some changes in my life.

This is my last year of teaching school. My wife and I are retiring and we are going to be moving to Springfield. I have lived in either Iron or St. Francois county my entire life except for a year or so in Boonville. For most of that time I've been teaching. This is my 32nd year. Retiring is scary. We will have a decent income compared to most retirees but it will be nothing like what we have grown used to. And then there's always the chance that some kind of catastrophic health issue would come up. So you see, for the first time in forever, I don't know quite what my future will hold. I will not be going back into a classroom this coming August. I will not be driving 35 miles to work every morning. My world will be different.

There are some other things that I am thinking about. I rejoice at the idea of retiring even though it is a little scary, but I rejoice at other news too. I've learned recently I am going to be a grandpa. My wife and I are thrilled about that. I'll be the best grandpa in the world. I can finally enjoy writing full time and trying to make some income off that, but I'm guessing that isn't likely to happen or else it would have happened by now. I have just finished a screenplay that might be good. Hollywriting though is so hard to beak into. I have no connections and no track record. That probably means I have no hope. Lancelot will be coming out soon, and then, I'll be able to start working on the sequel to Fall of Knight.

So, I know things are going to change, but as Neil Young says, "I can't tell bad or good."  I guess as is the rule for most of life -- a little of both.