#crossbyte: Gossip spreads so much faster and does more damage than truth.
During my first year of teaching, my first real job, I fell in love with a bright red 1978 Firebird special edition and bought it. Never mind that the payments for the car, my bills, and the money I gave to my dad who had helped me with the down payment, took up almost every cent of my paycheck. I think I was making about $10,000 a year. I did a budget and figured that I had enough to cover the cost of rent, the car, and my dad’s loan plus any other bills I had.
One of the things I forgot to include in my budget was food. So through the week, I squeaked by with the help of one of my fellow English teachers and good friend Perry Watson who fed me at least two or three times a week. On weekends, I did just like I did in college: went home and sponged off my parents.
My first semester of teaching went smoothly, and my evaluation was sparkling with not one negative comment. Then came the second semester. My boss, whom I disliked for a long time before I could finally forgive him, called me into his office one day. He started asking me some questions which began innocently enough.
“Do you know the trailer out by the river?” I told him I did because I drove past it every weekend on my way back to see my parents.
“The person who lives there is one of the biggest drug dealers in the county.” Okay, I thought, what does this have to do with me?
Then came the bomb which nearly blew my life apart forever.
“Someone saw your car there.”
I vehemently denied it. I had never been there much less bought drugs. I had never even heard of this alleged drug dealer.
The next comment from my boss was, “One of your students in your class said, ‘We’re going to get rid of these hop-headed teachers,’ and you dropped it like a hot potato. I remembered the kid saying this in class, and the reasons I dropped it were that I didn’t think he was talking about me, and two, I actually knew one or two hop-headed teachers who taught there.”
When I again denied any knowledge of his accusation, he said, “Your car stands out from others. You’re the only one who has one like it around here.” I couldn’t argue that point.
Well, one thing led to another, and I got the ultimatum. My boss said, “The board will likely not rehire you for next year. I suggest you resign rather than let yourself get fired.”
I cannot even begin to describe how much hatred filled me. I had not ever bought drugs from this person and I didn’t even know him. I am by nature very easy-going, and it takes a lot to get me mad. Let me tell you how mad I was. I went to a lawyer and talked to him about suing the school for defamation of character. I remember exactly what he said, “Let’s go after them.”
I had a case. I had not had a single bad comment about my teaching, and then suddenly I was going to get fired. Someone, I think it was my mom, who was a saint on earth, appealed to my reason, “Son, if you do sue this school, others will not want to hire you. You might never get another teaching job.” She was right. As a non-tenured teacher, I basically had no rights. I could have been fired for anything. I sent in my resignation letter, but my anger still boiled inside me. I would have given up teaching forever if not for two things. One, I had received a scholarship in college that required that I teach for two years or else I had to pay it back. I had completed one. Second, another school and another principal came through for me.
I remember it wasn’t until late July that I got another interview. Mr. McLaurin the principal of the school who interviewed me said right at the beginning, “We heard that you had some trouble at your last school.” I believed that my shot at the job was over. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case. Mr. McLaurin had faith in me, and this school hired me. I went from hating my first year of teaching and seriously considering dropping out of teaching altogether to finally finding out how much I loved it my second year. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Arcadia Valley High School in Ironton, Missouri, and to Mr. McLaurin.
I recently retired after 32 years of teaching, but I still teach part-time at Three Rivers Community College because I still love it. My career almost didn’t happen because of rumors. For years, I held a grudge against my first boss and my first school because they believed something totally wrong based on rumors.
I forgave my first boss finally, but it wasn’t until after he died. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how the accusations had come about in the first place. Then, one day it hit me. I told you that I drove that road every weekend to visit my parents. What I now realize is that I probably did stop at the trailer. Not to buy drugs, but because I had forgotten something I needed to take to my parents. (It was probably my dirty clothes because I didn’t have a washer and dryer myself.) I had turned around in the alleged drug dealer’s driveway, and one of my student’s parents probably saw my car. After all, the bright red Firebird special edition was truly was one of a kind.
Why can’t people see the damage that rumors cause? I’ll leave you with one last thought. I used to do an exercise in my classes where I told one student a story and that student had to tell the same story to another student. By the time the story passed through three students, it was unrecognizable.
Another thing I have noticed is people mostly pass bad rumors. The good news just isn’t as exciting I guess. I know everyone, at one time, has been victimized by rumors. Yet we ourselves still gossip. Isn’t there something wrong with that?
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