So Does anyone even Care?

I haven't written in my blog in forever.  I lost interest.  One of the problems with people who have my condition is that they start one project after another with overwhelming enthusiasm and then they run out of creative energy, drive, motivation, or they just find out that what they thought was a brilliant idea was no more than a flash of brilliance -- a large snowflake sizzled in a bonfire.  I don't know how many times I have started something and not finished it.  People do not know what a chore it is.  I can't help it really.  Another characterization of my condition is delusions of grandeur.  You start off thinking you can conquer the world, and then you discover a. the world is too big or b. you are too small.  What is really bad is this sets into motion a cycle of defeat that damages a person even more.   Great idea, fierce opening salvo to complete idea, realization you don't have the knowledge, energy, creativity or worst of all focus to complete said idea, huge, massive depression at failure and the desire to live under a rock until the next great idea comes along.  Vicious, vicious cycle.  No one who does not have a mental illness can even begin to realize what it means and how it affects people.  No one.  You have flashes of promise and joy at what may possibily happen and then huge periods of depression until the next wild scheme comes to mind. The sad thing is that I get treatment for mine.  People who do not get treatment for bipolar disorder have inordinately high percentages of suicide.  It's tough to explain to someone why one minute you feel like you can conquer the world and all its moons and the next minute you feel like driving your car off the cliff.  The odd thing is that there are often no reason why there's the change.  Nothing happens except some damned hormone kicks in or fails to kick in and it sabotages any attempts you make to achieve normalcy.  End of rant.